第四天...

我还以为今天会平平淡淡...无泪水流下来的过...
原来...
我错了...
今天你没有来找到我...因为你说你要去你干爹的celebration...
所以...取消了我的事情...
我也很开心...
因为今天早上你跟我说了一句"dEAR"..
就只有那么的一句...
然后过后的信息都没有了...
我也看了你的部落格...
心碎了...
我们在msn真的真的越来越少话说...
心碎了...
我问你有什么话要对我说吗...
你说没有...
心碎了...
原来你前女友还快知道过我可以找知道的东西...
心碎了...
原本以为可以雨过天晴的...
毛毛..
你真的太天真了...
事情并没有那么的简单,好不好?
突然觉得...我好像是这场爱情的罪魁祸首...
因为自己的不成熟...
不体贴...
不温柔...
不善解人意...
不懂得表达...
所以...
才搞到如此的堕落...
说真的...
有时候不是有一班好朋友在就不需要你...
朋友有固然重要...
可是..你也很重要...
无可否认...
你真的让我学会很多东西...
不过..我不知道你是否有发觉到...
刚刚...
你是不是逼着自己说你想我的呢?
其实..
说真的...
你还在乎我吗?
今天眼泪又不听话地流下来了...
唉～～
我的眼泪为什么都掉不完啊?
真悲哀....
“当我们了解某些人只能活在回忆里..
自己已成为他眼睛里的陌生人...我们已是陌生人了~~~”
这句话...
对我们两人的状况是否正确呢?
M2M真的没机会再破镜从圆了吗?
♥我想你♥

第三天...

今天只有pjk考试...所以,还蛮轻松的呢...
你终于考完试了...
你的试考得还顺利吗?
今天...
你回来,对吧?
还蛮有冲动想见你的呢...
可是...
我可以吗?..
算了~
要克制这种感觉呢...
唉~~~
明天你来找我呢...
明天会不会是我们最后一次见面呢...
我不知道..
说真的...
我有种感觉..明天是我们最后一次见面呢...
唉～
我有紧张...又害怕...
因为..
不知道明天你会跟我说些什么...
我自己...也不知道要跟你说什么...
你已经...
第四天没有再叫我"dEAR"了...
只有我还在叫你"bE"呢...
唉～
你似乎对我向你说的称呼没有任何反应...
也许...
你认为我是习惯了称呼你,所以...
你也没有要拒绝我称呼你这名字的意思,对吧?
唉~~~
不知道...
刚刚...
在msn...
我们两个就像陌生人的谈天...
你就开始对我闷了吗?
应该吧...
我觉得...
明天会是怎么样的场景?
我想象不到呢...
我可以继续想念你吗?
可以让我有这机会吗?
♥我想你♥

第二天...

就这样...
第二天到了...
早上那段时间你没有信息我呢...
怎么了吗?
你不想信息我吗?
唉~~~我也不知道...
你昨晚发给我的信息...
一直在我脑袋回转着...挥之不去....
我还很害怕昨晚那封信息是你发给我的最后一封呢...
唉～～
想太多了...
就这样...
你仿佛像把我抛在后头了...
你不让我赶上你的步伐...
你要我停止我的脚步...
不要跟在你身后...
去找另一个...
你真的舍得把我丢下了吗?
你说你并没有离开我...只是你在向前走...
你说你会一直在我身边...
可是...可是....
我真很害怕我失去你的感觉...
失去你的感觉就像失去了最亲的人...
我的房间...
装着满满你给过我的回忆...
我的脑袋...
装着满满对你的思念...
我仿佛不能让你知道我在想你...
我还很爱你...我想继续关心你...
因为我觉得你会跟我说...
"你忘了对我的牵挂吧~~~"
这样～～
我不知你是否会这样说...
可是.....
唉～～
幸福的起点真的是相等于幸福的终点吗?
你...
仿佛不再属于我的了...
你...
仿佛不会再疼爱我了...
你...
仿佛会慢慢把我忘记...
你...
我...
不能再拥有以前的关系了...
你...
我...
真的结束了吗?
M2M真的又缺了另一半吗?
你现在应该很享受你的晚餐吧?..
你真的开始不让我知道你的行踪了...
你也不再称呼我"dEAR"了......
♥我想你♥
♥我爱你♥

恶魔...

一年多的感情，真的可以在一夜之间变成回忆？
昨晚你告诉我的东西..我不知道要给你啥反应...只是傻在那里...
我简直出不到任何声音...只是眼泪从我的眼睛拼命流下...
心真的很痛很痛～～
不知该怎么形容～～
难道我们的感情就真的经不起考验吗？
你说你不要我辛苦...
你说你不要在我需要男友的时候你不在身边...
你说你说....
....
就在一夜之间....我仿佛像失去了整个世界....
我的世界因此变得很寂寞...
很黑暗....很寒冷....
我也变得很堕落....
泪流了一整夜....
有谁知道....有谁发觉....
没有!!!!~~~
你说我会狠你...
你真的那么需要我的狠么？
如果我狠你, 你会比较好过？
我可以告诉你...
我不会狠你...因为你是为了你的学业...你的前途....我不会强逼你跟我在一起...
一次又一次了...
我的伤口越来越深了....
甚至要有一道很大很大的疤痕了....
一次又一次了...
你要抛弃我了....
你不要我了.....
一次又一次...
一次又一次....
我变得很懦弱了....
被伤得偏体鳞伤...
以后我的路....
只有我的一双脚在走了....
因为你已经比我走得很快很快...
我仿佛已经赶不上你的步伐了....
以后的酸甜苦辣....
也就只有我一个人独自享受....
以后的双人床...
不会再出现你熟悉的睡姿...
你抱着我的温暖...
以后的床...
没有你再帮我去收拾了...
以后的衣服....
没有你再帮我去折了...
以后的我....
再也没有你的爱护..疼爱了...
这一次...
我真的被爱情彻底的打败了....
我该怎么办？
该放手？改捉紧？
你可以告诉我吗？

......

today din go to skul...yesterday alr so less ppl go to skul..dunno today will how!??..
haiz...dunno~~
today dunno why i will speechless wif you...
i dunno...
i nthg wan to tell you or share wif you..
it doesn't mean tat i dunhav feel to talk os be wif you..
just dunno why tis feeling will come out from my mind..
mayb....
recently both of us keep busy on our study..
due to tis..our conversation 1day less than 1day...
tis feeling so horrible..
i try to avoid..
but like not success...
haiz...
dunno~~
you said you need someone to comfort you...
mayb i really not the suitable person...
i cannot manage good my emotions...
always let you feel stress..tis and tat...
i feel you so tired...
before we recouple, you said i become stronger than last time...
actually i din feel the way i strong..
stronger? wat it mean?
......
i said, "everytime i made you feel sad..everytime i made you feel difficult..everytime say something stupid..."
actually you also agree wat i'm saying...
haha~~i also dunno i should happy or sad...
hahahahahahah~~~~~
you said, "mayb you are someone tat fast get angry but slow to bak normal and don't think tat sometimes you need to tum me.."
haha~~really feel myself so funny~so funny~
remain the same ppl...
would never upgrate..maintain...remain de mafan to stay wif others...
really so funny~~
other ppl say me nice to be..
you all is cheat me de, rite?
actually you all be wif me, frenz wif me is for wat??
i nthg special...
character damn bad...
personalities damn bad...
who can tell me tis?
no one!!!~~no one!!!~~~~
i just such a stupid ppl...
STUPID TEARS!!!~~
why you always come out from my eyes!??...
why????
I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!~~~~~~

SAD!!!

recently dunno why...
two of us like got alot of problems~~
i HATE myself more than you!!
you said i crazy others more than you..
i easy to worry...so, you said you not strong enough to worry me~
my tears keep on drop...
dunno why..
feel my heart so pain..
i dun like you keep saying a same thing..
cuz let me feel tat i care others more than you..
or you really think me is like tat de!?
i dunno...
so complicated in my heart~
you said i always din tell you my things..keep in my heart...
sometimes really i dunno wan how to say my feel or watelse...
i so sorry about tat too...
yah!!~i know you always try to beside me when i need you...you said no ppl will help you~
mayb i really dunno wan how to let you feel i so tai tip...and others...
you said you tell me tat you feel so stress is useless...i think because i dunno wan how to onn wei you gua...
so, you said you tell me also useless...
yah!!!~~i confess i'm useless...i'm not so strong enough tat you wan..
i cannot do anything i wan to do..
i cannot do anything success...
cuz i really so useless...
nothing i can do...
don't hav self-confidence~
do everything also very stupid~
waste alot of time on my phone than other things...
i do hard everything i wan..but at the end, also useless..
cuz others dunno wan i'm doing...
wat use i hav now~
study also not well if compare wif others..
personalities also not good if compare wif others...
wat i can do??
nothing....
just be a weak person forever and ever!!!!
tears~
can keep bak?
i feel so tired..
plz~

hurt~~

long time din update my blog le..
cuz no time..
haiz....
today i so sad...
cuz after school, onli pauline, me, fish and shinova pratice for the graduation performance...
yaya said she not free...although alr manage the time, bunny fall sick~
then, just now i msg them said tml got pratice...
then yaya said she cannot..
cuz today she alr manage her time, so tml can't..some more she got tuition...
then, i ask her really can't manage a little time for me to teach the steps!??
then, she said can't..
cuz she really dunhav a little time for me..
and she wan put out herself..
she said dunwan gv us trouble wor..
wat's the meaning!!!????
dunwan gv trouble for us??
i dunno...
confuse~~
then, tis few days bunny fall sick..she let me feel tat she unable to perform wif us also..
if like tat, so onli left 4 of us...
4 of us i also dunno wan how to perform...athough it still can go on..
but for me, like lost something..
tat feeling not good for me..
i dunno...
i feel myself so useless...
1 good performance also can't prepare well...
how can i as a good leader in the future!??
i also dunno...
feel myself so useless...
just a small performance also cannot prepare well...
so hurt~~
last time i just said i got a dance performance, you straight away thk dou de is HER, not ME~
you said "ask she teach you all lar...she got go out perform wif me before, so she got alot of experience..."
yah...she really got alot of experience on dance..really more than me...
tat time i din talk anything..just got a feel is, why you can't believe in your gf ability~
must request from others help..
i really can't handle it well mah!??
tat time my heart really is broke...
i din said out..
cuz tis feeling i know myself tat's enuf for me..
tis time really is true...
your gf really so idiot!!
so useless!~~
no word can explain de BODOH!!!~~~