Fear

Those people came again. I dunno what to do and how to face it.
Regardless how strong am I in other moment, I just weak enough during this moment. I really fear when they knocked the door.
I dunno how~ I knew they couldn't do so much things since I didn't bothered them. They just so horrible~! They spoiled my holiday.
I dunno when only I can putting down all the fears when they knocked my door again.
I truly feel that I'm useless and I can't find anyone to help me but myself. I have to calm myself down and balance myself instead of frightened.
I really need a million thanks to those who gave me such dark side. I really can't let go such dark side. Every time when people talked or those people 'VISIT', I just collapsed.

I really frustrated towards myself. I just worrying to stay alone at home nowadays. I just dun wish to see those people face.
Please, please go away from my life~ please~~~

I have nothing, I'm just a little girl with a little dream.
I wish to receive something from you badly, but I know it is useless. ' She wants to be your everything  but end up you made her become nothing.'
I need someone to protect and stay by my side when the fears are come towards me. Yet, it is just a difficult mission ever  ;')

♚Stay Tune♚
End.

What should I do?

You just whatsapp me in a sudden. I expected what was it, but it always out of my expectations. You send me your bank account number and asked me bank in the balance to your account.
Why dun just meet me up? I purposely not to ask you how am I going to give you back the money just because I still putting some hopes on you. Yet, it's hopeless.
This action told me that you are no longer want to meet me up. Or think the other side to comfort myself is, he need money indeed.
I should start to give you up? I should let go? Actually, I am just unwilling and hate to do so. Even though I knew the result is hopeless.
I really do not wish to let go, but the situation seems to force me to do so. Imma collapsed~ Imma frustrated~

This holiday I feel so lifeless. Nothing to do. Jobless = No $$
I have to stay strong ~ Yea, I tell myself always ;')

I want to be your girl, not one of the girls. Every girls wish to have the same result. But life always challenging and tough, things that easily to get is not worth for us.

♚ Stay Tune ♚
End.

孤單心事

好久好久沒寫華語的部落了。
這首歌正在描述著我此刻的心情。我又再一次感受到他們所說的 “當你不開心的時候，你聽的不是旋律而是歌詞”.
愛你是孤單的心事，不懂得你微笑的意思。
我在你心裏是否能有點特別？別忘了我一直都在你身邊。
從昨天你一直按電話的樣子看來，你應該是在和某位女生在談天吧。你對我無動於衷。
剛剛看報紙時說不應該執著於某些事。執著不代表能擁有。
堅持算什麽？
執著算什麽？
終究也是感覺在犯錯。
沒有感覺=沒有結果
為何我要執著於一段沒結果的戀情？我不知道。
我堅持不讓眼淚滑下，因為我知道不值得。就算我哭了，他也不知道。他也不會理會。
我不應該浪費這些眼淚。
我還記得，我看{愛上巧克力}時，她說：“眼淚是上帝特別賜給女生的。所以女生就有那權利利用哭泣來發泄心中的感覺。”
但，我告訴自己，絕對不能讓眼淚流下。可是，好像沒啥作用。哈哈~ 因為我是愛哭包。
誰不想別人疼愛？
誰不是貪心想要很多人疼愛？
總是在別人的面前嘻嘻哈哈，但有誰是真的明白,了解我心中的感覺。
不說是不想別人擔心。不說是因為這世界太現實，很難才能找到一個值得你去信任的對象。

現在的你，應該很享受在那派對吧？我對你來說，只是你寂寞時的解藥。現在你已經找到你要的東西，所以就把我拋開。但在這個時候，我的心已經被你慢慢的牽走了。
我無權選擇你。

♚ Stay Tune ♚
End.

Vertigo Night

I am having a complicated mood while writing this post.
Yesterday I thought will be a wonderful night, at least you'll try to communicate or whatelse to me. Haha, at the end, think too much. You were just stick with Fish and Chit chat with her. I get jealous actually, but I have no right to do so, cuz Fish is my besties and they both know each other longer than both of us. Hmm.....
Besides, you seems like do not have a bit flipped towards me. Regardless how was I tried to attracted you. Even when you want to leave, the first one to know wasn't me but Fish, imma just a simple sentence "I'm leave now, bye "  I know I couldn't expected too much from you. However, thanks for your fake goodbye kiss too. It still touched my heart.
Next, I dislike you like trying to push me to another person. I knew because you wanted your friend will be more enjoy when going out with us. I'm okay with this. Just.... I dunno...... how to explain the feeling.
Actually.... what do you think towards me? I can felt that you already knew that I'm fall for you. Since I felt that you are trying to stay a distance with me.
I dunno what to do now~~~ I feel lost. I'm trying to put it down. I'm trying ~ I force myself to try it ~~ I dun expect you'll read my blogger. I just wish that you may feel what I feel now.
Lastly, Vertigo really sucks -.- 
The speakers are totally failed. And the DJ was not okay~~~ regret~ should choose Stage.
But fine, at least get one more experience.
May I take over some space from your heart? I miss you boy ♥
♚ Stay Tune ♚
End.

With Babe Girl :D

Today 18.01.13

Holiday has been finished 2 weeks, 2 more weeks to enjoy my holidays. Time flies ~~~~ Awwww  :(
Today should be an awesome day. Backed to high school and played basketball with my precious teammates. Besides, we still backed to our memorable venue to have our lunch and chilling at thr.
However........
When I reached home that moment, my mood totally spoiled. They were here this afternoon while I'm not at home. They leave a piece of paper with numbers. I almost collapsed at that moment. Why was those bullshit feeling back to me?
I choose to escape, hidden the memory. But at the end, they force me to think back everything.
I never told dad that I was worried actually. I worried they will do something that will hurt her.
I just wonder why they want to continue like this. Why don't just let us continue our life peacefully?! I am just pissed off.
I can't control my emotional. At the time, I just wish to get something from you. However, I know I just expect too much, think too much.. you'll not did such things again to me.
Today I heard something from babe girl. Those incidents quite hurt me. But I know I have no right to think that. Just because I'm nothing for you.
I dunno what to do when I heard that. I know I just can accept and do nothing at there. You're not mine.
Gonna meet you on tmr. I just wish that you'll eyes on me. Yet, I will not expect too much. Expectations always bring disappointment along. Ya, I understand the quote.
I miss you and I wish to get something from you.


♚Stay tune♚
End.

BEACH DAY ^ BATU FERRINGHI

I looks small and short haha XD

A New Year Begin ● 2013

Wow, it has been long time I never update my blogger. Busy life~ Life busy~
Take a break, and write sthg about my recent activities  ;)
1yr from past, look backward and I found that a lot of things had changed, especially people. Sometimes people tend to betray, even the one who closest with you.
For my principle, if you choose to betray, better don't let me know, just because I do not want to break up any relationship between people.
We knew the problem arise, but we choose to escape. Maybe it would be a better way to maintain a relationship.
There are a lot of double-faced person around this real world. They taught me never ever believe in anyone unless you think they are worth for and they do appreciate the trust between you and him. How terrible is it when someone talk to you with one story and talk to others with another different story. No one is born to love you, this is the reality.

Besides all such bullshit things happened, there are something which brighten my life.
Him, even we never getting together at the end just because of my problem. Yet, I still hope that you really get your happiness with your current girl. You're a good boy with no doubt. Stay in love with her  ;)

He, the recent, for you, I love you yet I hate you too. Why?
You tried to take away my heart and thus disappeared yourself without reason in a sudden. Do you know how I used to wait for your call, I miss those calls, texts, whatsapp between me and you.
We talked on phone at the late night, even if we did not have any topics you still on the phone and trying to tell me sthg about you. I knew a different you at that moment. How was your secondary school life, even your love life....
However, now everything gone. Everything back to zero. What you do now is, texting me isn't because you miss me, is merely mean you are boring or need me to help you sthg. I dislike. Somehow I still happy with it. Wth -.-

I do not know whether you will read on my blog or not. Even yes, nothing to do with it also. Haha! Because..... I'm not the one who mean to you, I am just not important at all  ;)

Last but not least, a new year, a new begin. Reconstruct everything and look forward! My another 10yrs journey is start! Begin a new year with a big big smile ∩__∩

Fight for the last paper on Saturday. Pull up my socks!

**Should be able to update regularly haha ~

♚ Stay tune ♚

End.